The World, and Other Meaningless Truths
by XNobodyXSomebodyX
Summary: Sora was the type of guy whose smile never fell, never faded, never lessened, never dimmed. How disgusting. Unfortunately, all that Roxas cared about was two things: not taking medication… And Sora. Karma loved to torture him. RoxSorRox
1. First: The World

_**Well, I feel confident enough in it by now to post at least this much. I'm almost done with it anyways. It'll only be about four chapters long. I apologize now if you think I didn't get a mentality right, I just used what I could remember from my own experiences with disorders. This is a RoxSorRox story, I guess. There isn't any sex, and I don't think I made a more dominant one, because Sora definitely isn't as innocent as he's made out to be... I don't know, I just confused myself a bit.**_

**_Gah, what am I rambling about? Anyways, I hope you like it, even if you don't agree with it. I'm hoping it will have a happy ending, it probably will because I don't have the heart for anything else, and if it doesn't... Well, I'm sorry._**

**_If you don't like yaoi, all I ask is you don't waste your time with filling my review space, get over it. If you have an constructive critiscm, please do review or message me. If you just want to say "Hi..." ... Hi. :D_**

* * *

_**First: The World**_

In all honesty, there was no sense in the act of gluing your feet to the floor. It was pointless, stupid, hazardous and would most likely result in physical pain of some sort. Super glue was quite strong, too, and it would most likely leave that hardened, nasty, crust that glue leaves behind in two foot-shaped spots on the rug for the rest of the poor thing's life. When trying to find anything productive in the activity of gluing your feet to the floor, there really was none that could be thought of.

Maybe you could say it was an experiment to see how strong the glue was, and just ignore the fact that there were other much more smarter ways of testing such a thing.

You could say that the incredible boredom you were experiencing of being home alone for three days with nothing better to do has driven you to insanity, and so, in the last bits of your remaining sanity, you decided to stop yourself from doing anything more stupid by gluing your feet to the floor.

But then you would have the issue of realizing that such a thing wouldn't work unless you glued your bare feet to the floor, which would be beyond painful to experience when trying to separate your feet from the carpet when said glue has already hardened.

That would be after you regained your sanity, of course.

But even with these few bits of logical excuses in his arsenal, Roxas was not one to lie about his reasons and motives for gluing his feet to the floor. His shoes actually, if you wished to be technical, but his feet were in his shoes, and so he counted the shoes as simply an extension of his feet.

Roxas considering clothing as an extension of his being. This is not the point though, there are other, more important matters to deal with.

Like, why exactly Roxas glued his feet to the floor.

Well, as said before, Roxas wasn't the type to lie. He was always told he could be brutally honest, to the point where it was rude, mean and extremely out of place. But even he, one who was known for his emotions ranging to the size of a table spoon, would color a bit at admitting that he was not experimenting the glue's strength, going mentally insane (something he may reconsider after closer examination later), or bored in anyway.

Yes, he has been alone for what felt like forever now, but that held no meaning to Roxas, he was used to such a thing by now. But we are getting off track once again, as Roxas's feet are still glued to the floor and the boy is still calmly thinking of a way to get out of such a dilemma as getting his glued shoes off the floor.

Sighing sadly, Roxas gave a (yes, spoken out-loud) farewell to his shoes, and simply slipped them off. Then he moved to return to the bathroom, leaving his shoes in the room in their glued down state.

His only regret: that didn't take up more time.

* * *

It was common knowledge that Sora was a busy guy, what with the curse of being a helplessly untreatable social leech. Yes, and the fact that he somehow managed to retain the wonderful blessing of balancing it perfectly with his school work, sports, and family, it was unfortunate, really.

Sora was the type of guy whose smile never fell, never faded, never lessened, never dimmed. His cheerful, go-lucky attitude, and terribly dumb optimism was the rhetorical bottle of arsenic that he would so lovingly bottle-feed the other chained souls of the fine learning institution known, exclusively, as "Goddamn-Fucking-Hell."

It was disgusting how much people could trust blind faith, horribly disgusting. But there was truly nothing Roxas could do to save the student body, not that he would've tried if he had wanted to, anyways.

They were long gone, too absorbed in the poison cruelly taking the form of a vertically challenged, bouncy brunette.

Roxas found it ironic that he of all people would be faced with the irony he was facing now, he really should've seen karma coming to bite him in the ass, she had done it quiet a few times already, and it didn't grow any more subtle or clear with each time she took a giant chomp.

No, in fact, she seemed to enjoy torturing him with the knowledge that he knew she was torturing him on purpose. If Roxas had to picture karma as a person, he imagined her as an incredible attractive woman with a sadistic nature and a bad taste in both de Sade and hairstyles. With that picture in mind, he would remember that was, in fact, his cousin Larxene.

And then the world made a bit more sense.

Now, you may ask what had changed between the couple of paragraphs less than a page ago and now, and Roxas would tell you his medication took a couple hours to kick in.

But he'd be lying, as he doesn't actually need any medication (according to his parents, but not to any doctors and close friends) and would just be saying that to poke a glaringly burning piece of metal into the commonly known fact that the United States relied much too heavily on the use of medication to keep the people of it's country in control. Something Roxas and his parents had vehemently opposed.

Proof of such a fact would be how he was diagnosed with ADD as a kid and his parents refused to give him his medication. Either way, he didn't care much, because he didn't want to shove any rather disgusting tasting pills down his throat anyways. But you'd think that maybe his parents would take the consideration of medication a bit more seriously after his psychiatrist highly recommended some Prozac. Quote: "Like… Now."

Nope, and Roxas would be oh-so proud at their personal stand against conformity, if it were not for the fact that his father worked as a mere pencil-pusher in a no-name company and his mom was a stay-at-home wife, something that just did not seem to be fitting of the label "Non-Conformists."

Now, don't start to try and read deep into Roxas's psyche merely based upon his personal opinions of those things, he is far from one of those Goths who conform in their own non-conformity. No, he couldn't actually care less about conformity and non-conformity or the fashions of people his age.

Strange, yes, since he has that boy band kind of face and voice, and the athleticism that could make him climb to the top of the social ladder (right next to Mr. Arsenic from earlier), and the ability to manage to actually blend into society as just another sheep in the herd of toxic mindlessness.

But no, at least, if you actually knew Roxas than you'd think that way. Roxas was definitely not interested in whether or not he was really conforming in anyway, or if he was drifting towards the counter-culture, or if he dressed like those "Scene"-kids, or the "Emo"-kids who ripped off a music label (or vice-versa, as Roxas couldn't really remember if it was the clothes based off the music or the music based off the clothes). No, he definitely didn't care if he blended in with the crowd, or if he even had "friends," or if he could sing like that Jessie McCartney guy or not.

Really, all that Roxas cared about was two things: not taking medication…

… And Sora.

And this is how we circle around to the beginning topic, the cause of this rambling.

It's not like the blonde liked the guy, in fact he rather despised him, which was probably the strangest thing of all, he loathed the teen's very existence. And no one who actually knew Roxas knew why. Then again, very few people actually knew Roxas, the total being probably about four people, minus his parents. Those people would be (in order) Axel, Naminé, Larxene and Demyx.

The funny part of it all would have to be the fact that Roxas went to school with only one of these people, as Larxene was in college and Naminé and Demyx were enrolled in some pretentious art school about a town over. Yes, Axel was the only one who he went to school with, and even then, Axel was only there because he failed a couple required classes in Senior year and had to retake them now.

It being that way, Axel often just stuck around for those classes and then got out of that place as fast as he could, occasionally taking Roxas with him.

In all honesty, no one really cared if Roxas was cutting school or not, they cared about his happiness and his intelligence (not to mention sanity), not whatever a piece of paper told them with letters and 4 or 5.0 scales.

The reason why Roxas loathed Sora so very much would have to be the fact that the teen resembled him in one too many ways, ways that Roxas would never want to touch upon ever again. And so, his friends were smart enough to keep their distance, to not ask questions, to just nod and say something insultingly rude at either the mention or the sight of the teen, whether the brunette was in ear shot or not.

It was probably because of this deep despising of Sora, it was probably because of his mostly irrational mind, that that Friday afternoon going down the way it did.

* * *

Picking up black eyeliner from the bathroom sink, Roxas had a vague thought of who it may have belonged to. Naminé? Axel? Demyx? Larxene? Any of them could have accidentally left it there, they all lived in the same house. But it didn't matter to him, really, even though it was most likely Larxene's and he'd most likely get chewed out later for deciding to try and actually use it.

The trouble with eyeliner was that it was a pencil. Why would you want to put a pencil so close to your eye? What if someone walked into you and made you stab yourself in the eye, you would forever lose your vision and have the dumbest tale of how you lost it. It made no sense why women did such a thing just for the price of beauty.

More importantly, how did they even get it on?

Roxas had never watched any one of his house mates put their eyeliner on, wasn't even sure if Naminé had any eyeliner now that he thought about it, and he looked at his own eyes in the mirror, judging whether or not to put it all around his eyes or if it was just suppose to go in the corners, or just on the bottom lid or… He was clueless, plain and simple. How did Axel and Demyx ever figure it out?

Why did Roxas associate with grown men who wore eyeliner?

Bringing the pencil up, he made a cautious mark around the general area underneath his bottom set of eyelashes, then stared at the dark, dark, line against his suddenly paled skin like it was some wonder of the world. He moved to put more on, then more, and more, and more.

He looked like he was dead, or at least dying. But that had not been his aim, however, now that he looked at himself, he couldn't help the thought that it looked good on him. Death, that is.

But he wasn't done, he could feel it. Something felt so irresolute in just putting eyeliner on, just making himself **look** dead. He knew that train of thought probably should invoke suicidal thoughts, but Roxas knew he wasn't suicidal, he didn't want to die just yet. That wouldn't be what it took to win this, he had to do something different.

Something different, not enough, death, he sounded just like a normal teenager.

How wonderful that he could pretend, convince himself, that for just a couple moments, he was just another sheep in the herd. It felt oddly relaxing to hide for a moment, to blend in to the wall stained with marks that were suppose to resemble letters and perhaps coherent sentences if you squinted.

No, he was not suicidal just yet, maybe a bit masochistic whenever left alone, but not to the point where self-harm was needed.

No, he wasn't exactly what you would describe as a normal teenager, no matter how he had once been considered, but not to the point where you would label him with anything that was either counter-cultural or stereotypical (excluding the misinterpreted title of "lone wolf.").

And even though Roxas didn't particularly care of such things anymore, he wouldn't deny his slightly masochistic tendencies, or how he sometimes missed his old life.

Currently, though, eyeliner was being used like the pencil it was, the wall a tablet that would preach his innermost thoughts to the world, the ones he found, himself, unable to gather the courage to speak aloud. That was most likely when he realized that eyeliner could be removed rather easily, in fact, he was pretty sure water would get rid of it quite easily.

How sick.

* * *

Sitting in the middle of a class of other teens his age felt nerve racking most of the time, nauseating only occasionally. When it became to be unbearable, he would find Axel and demand a ride home. The most that demanding involved though, was looking at the redhead and the guy was already pulling his car keys from those same jeans he seemed to wear everyday.

That Friday, however, Axel had the flu, Larxene had blown up the toaster that morning and was probably looking to buy a new one somewhere, Naminé's car was in a ditch a couple miles east of a positively ancient mansion, and Demyx was still MIA after a party he went to last night.

This all translated into, Axel was too tired to get up, Larxene still had anger issues, Naminé was still a horrible driver, and Demyx got laid for the third time in his life.

So Roxas was left to wallow in his own misery underneath the staircase by the back exit of the school, the one only used by janitors to get rid of trash and students who were emptying their classes' recycling bins. This place felt oddly comfortable, like Roxas felt he could sit there forever and never be found, never find, never get lost, never face reality once again.

That would've been real nice, since it was only one of the two few wishes he had.

But, since irony was probably attempting to form into a shape similar to karma, something had to come along and ruin this moment for him. That just happened to be in the form of a brunette with blue eyes, just a shade deeper than his own, and tanned skin that Roxas would be able to rival if not for his last couple months indoors.

Sora was the last person Roxas wanted to see. Sora was too much like him, back a couple months ago, they would've probably been something like twins in another life if the world wasn't so cruel.

But the world was cruel, or maybe merciful in retrospect, and Sora and him were brought to meet face-to-face at this moment.

This moment, when Roxas was feeling beyond nauseas from the thought of interacting with other humans, of loathing the world and it's inhabitants, of hiding underneath staircases by backdoors that lead to the area where people dumped their trash because he couldn't find any way to reach his own home.

Now that he thought about it, though, a three to four mile walk wouldn't be so bad compared to this.

It had started out simply innocent, Sora had just gave him a concerned look and bent down to make sure Roxas was okay, he just asked him if he was feeling alright, a kindness Roxas certainly didn't deserve seeing how he had quite obviously hated him for the few weeks he had been at the same school as the boy.

Roxas hadn't wanted the concern or the kindness anymore, and he didn't understand how this idiot managed to keep up such a terrible façade of care when Roxas had pretty much insulted him behind his back everyday since the sight of the other, and to both of their knowledge that the other knew Sora would always hear the nasty words.

Roxas didn't want it, didn't deserve it, did nothing to provoke such kindness, but Sora gave it to him unconditionally. What would it take to make this guy hate him back, to make him despise Roxas, to make someone just like his old self hate him. What would it take for the old Roxas to despise who he is now.

His lips were soft and warm, completely frozen in place against his own from shock. Warm breath danced across his face when a sigh escaped from his nose, the only reaction either of them had made since the blonde had leaned forward. Their eyes, two different shades of beautiful blue, locked, one in masochistic curiosity, the other in paralyzed confusion.

The brunette found he couldn't take another breath in, whether or not his mouth was occupied, not while those eyes were locked on his, not while he could feel the warmth of the other body, the one that held a personality so cold. He couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't remember his own existence. There was just Roxas, sitting in front of him, body and person contradicting, lips pressed against his, unmoving.

That day, Sora had received a kiss, underneath a staircase by the back exit of the school where people dumped trash just outside. Roxas gained bruised knuckles and sore feet when he knocked Sora out immediately afterwards, then began walking home.

* * *

A knife had many interesting qualities about it, one would be it's tip, as it was always as sharp as the actual blade, but it dulled rather quickly if it were not of the highest quality metal 5 teens with part-time jobs could afford.

The quality was, quite obviously, not anywhere near high, not even to them. And so, when Roxas began carving into the walls of his bedroom, he didn't manage to do so well.

For one, the upper-body strength required for such a task as carving words into the wall with a cheap knife that was more likely made of plastic than actual metal, was much more strength than Roxas would care to admit he didn't have. So the entire accident would be blamed on the cheap knife and Larxene's poor shopping capabilities.

Then Roxas decided he didn't need words, exactly, he just had to destroy that fucking wall. The pure white was pissing him off to no end, and the very fact the walls were so bare that they echoed seemed to make him feel more hollow than he wished to be.

So he picked up the desk chair in his room and held it steadily with both hands, his grip so tight that his hands themselves were turning white. Then he smashed, and smashed, and smashed.

And it felt like a momentary promise of relief, then a broken promise of content.

* * *

Roxas had had no idea that small town people really did know almost everything about everyone in town, such as addresses, or that he would need to do something like lock his front door in such a small town that was ranked so safe.

He had had no idea that Sora would wake up, find his own friends, and tell them why he had a giant bruise forming in the area right below his right eye, then tell them why he absolutely had to see Roxas at that moment.

What Roxas knew was that no one else had been home for whatever had just happened in the past couple hours, no one had been there to stop his mini-episode-slash-rampage.

What Roxas knew was the shocked face Sora had when he finally found Roxas curled up in a corner of his room, crying for the first time in what felt like seconds.

What Roxas knew was that Sora didn't even hesitate to get on his knees and hug him as comfortingly as he could.

What Roxas **knew** was that Sora _still_ didn't despise him, and instead was quite possibly showing even more concern and kindness than before.

It didn't make sense to Roxas, he wanted to hug the guy and push him off a bridge at the same time because he was just so wretchedly kind, that pure nature of his just seemed to radiate like he was a fucking sun and Roxas was what was left of the Arctic after Global Warming.

It was horrible, it made his head spin, it made him nauseas, it made him want to make those masochistic tendencies a bit more suicidal.

But, at the same time, it made him feel just the opposite. And it was those exact opposite feelings that allowed Sora to hold him, allowed Kairi to take his cell and call Axel (because he was the first and only person she recognized on his contacts), and allowed Riku to try and start fixing the place up a bit.

* * *

Two months later, Roxas laid on his bed, memories rushing through his mind so fast he couldn't breath properly. Sora laid right next to him, his arms wrapped around his waist and his face buried in his collarbone, the only place Roxas could put his arms was around the other, he wasn't about to go out of his way to put them in a less comfortable position.

And when Sora would wake up, he'd stare at Roxas for a minute or two as the blonde would pretend to still be asleep. But, until then, Roxas laid there, staring at the wall behind the plaster he had knocked out with his chair, and risk suffocation because of memories too strong.

Roxas still absolutely despised Sora, but he despised Sora because of himself.


	2. Then: Life

**_The second chapter. I guess Roxas would be the more dominant one? At least, in this chapter. All I know is the end is coming in two chapters, what that end is, and what's happening between now and then, I don't know. It must be hard for beta's to put up with me... Maybe that's why I can't find one for this? Huh, maybe. Oh, well, I'll wing it._**

**_Once again, if you spot any mistakes, please point it out. If you don't like yaoi, I don't care. If you wanna give Roxas and Sora a big hug because they need it or will seriously need one soon... Uh, buy a plushy?_**

* * *

_**Then: Life**_

Despite the optimism the government and school would like to strangle you with in the hopes of creating a species of perfectly alike, hard-working, happy, and narrow-minded citizens, the world did not seem to get any brighter for Roxas since two months ago.

More tolerable, maybe.

The act of gluing his shoes to the floor left it's evidence clearly on the basement floor, where his shoes still stood like trophies in the dim lighting of the TV in the darkness. They simply taunted him to do something more stupid, more risky, more messy, sitting there between the TV and the couch. The cement walls surrounded him in what felt like a tomb, and he had a moment of peace as he had the thought of pretending he was the only person in the tri-state area, and no one else was even near enough to hear him scream.

No one around at all.

Then Sora fell down the stairs with popcorn.

* * *

Roxas had found himself forced to spend the hour of time supposedly used to feed themselves during school with Sora and his friends, Kairi and Riku. Now, despite disliking the general population of the human race as a whole, Roxas found that Kairi and Riku were strangely tolerable.

Riku was one of those obviously genetically perfected human beings the world spat out of it's digestive track a couple times in every generation. You know those people, the ones that were just beautiful and too goddamn good at whatever the hell they did, the ones that you would run into at school or the work place and curse with all your self-loathing, because you could not be as simply awe-inspiring as them?

Yeah, he was one of those guys. A crying shame, it is.

But he, at the very least, knew this and didn't shove his ego in people's faces. Roxas had found Riku's most redeeming quality to be the fact that he was not one of those incredibly dense and insanely annoying people who were completely unaware of how they seemed so perfect to the world, and he wasn't one of those people who knew and shoved their egos up and into other people's noses, and he wasn't one of those people who knew and then tried to perfect themselves even more by attempting to act all modest.

No, Riku knew, didn't shove his ego up your nose, and didn't bother with the modesty act. He just seemed to shrug it off like it was nothing new, and in reality, to him, it wasn't. Which just made Roxas's life a bit more bearable.

Kairi, at first, seemed to be nothing but a loud-mouthed, gossiping, whore to Roxas. He honestly thought the shit that poured from her mouth about the student body, the shit that she attempted to find importance in, was enough to give him a migraine and be the soul cause of any exceedingly harmful stress in his life.

Then came the day the girl sat down, looked at Roxas with a smile, an handed him a bag. At first, he had no idea what the hell she was thinking. She was giving him lunch? He had money of his own, she didn't think she had to take care of him after she had accidentally walked in on his episode or whatever. He didn't want or need any pity from her.

With thoughts on murder, Roxas ripped the bag open and felt his jaw slacken slightly, all anger in his body rushing away from his system. Inside the bag was heaven on a bun. A BLT with cheese, mayonnaise, and extra bacon. When he looked back up at her and just blinked, she broke her conversation with Sora, who didn't even seem to be listening anymore, to tell Roxas that she had been passing by a Subway on the way to school and remembered how the blonde had that exact craving the day before.

So, while he found pretty much everything that spilled from the girl's mouth to be beyond annoying, found the rate at which she switched dates to be beyond what she deemed "scandalous," and her I.Q. to most likely be in the negatives… Roxas supposed he never found someone who was such a good listener and considerate enough to do something so small and yet so meaningful for another person. And that was what made him probably tolerate the girl at all.

Sora… Sat next to him everyday, made him talk everyday, never shut up everyday, kissed him on the cheek everyday, and overall worked as hard as he damn could everyday to piss the shit out of Roxas.

And Roxas… found himself strangely apathetic to it all.

* * *

Roxas didn't question Sora's intentions, he honestly didn't find he cared what the boy did anymore, he didn't even care enough to talk behind the brunette's back. So, when Axel came around and asked him what he had heard about him and Sora dating, Roxas simply shrugged and stared at the wall in front of him.

Dating?

He hadn't thought of trying to even hold a conversation with someone in so long that the thought of having a real relationship seemed unfeasible, out of the question at the very best of times. But Sora, for whatever reason, he found his emotions flat-lined at. He just didn't care what the brunette did at the moment. And whether that simply be him in denial, like Axel smirked, or if he had really lost all kinds of emotions when it came to the boy, Roxas neither knew or cared to even pretend to want to know.

It just didn't seem to be important in any way.

Now that he thought about it, though, he deemed it safe to assume that Sora assumed they were dating. He had kissed Sora, then knocked him out, and Sora then came to confront him and instead found him near hysterics with the occasional delirium seeping into his eyes. Somehow, in a language Roxas was sure he would never learn, this meant _**"BOYFRIEND."**_

But, again, Roxas didn't care all that much.

Okay, that was a lie. He hadn't cared back at that time. It was only when the entire school began to literally _buzz_ with the gossip about how Sora and Roxas were together that Roxas began to care once more. And, no, it was not because of any image he hoped to hold up on a picket sign for himself, but rather because this meant people attempting to confront him for more information. Something Roxas found rather annoying, time-consuming and angering at the best of times.

You didn't even want to know his opinion at the worst of times.

It seemed to draw more and more people to attempt to communicate with the blonde for the first time since he arrived at the school, about four months ago. Obviously, these people didn't give a flying fuck about him, but they certainly gave more than two flying fucks about the brunette Roxas oh-so-lovingly pet-named "Arsenic."

Note that the reactions to such a nickname was Axel nearly pissing himself in laughter, Larxene smirking from behind her book of de Sade, Naminé smiling proudly as she painted, Demyx being oblivious, Riku snickering behind a sandwich, Kairi giggling as she texted it to all her millions of best-friends, and Sora having to attempt to find a dictionary in the home Roxas shared with the first four teens.

The location of the dictionary is still a mystery, along with the definition Sora was looking for.

But we are getting off topic, as we always do when it comes to Sora. Sora is basically the topic, though, he is basically the entire story, in fact. There would be no story without Sora, Roxas would find no need to express himself in very many ways besides sleep if it were not for Sora. But because of Sora and his loud, obnoxious, and sick mouth, students and even teachers of all ages and sizes were just standing in line to have a chance to interrogate Roxas and get hit with what Roxas would like to call his mental "Bat of Anti-Annoyance."

They wouldn't shut-up, they followed him everywhere, they had no sense of privacy, they thought too highly of themselves and their social standings with Roxas. So he decided to take it upon himself to come up with the mental bat of his, just so that everytime one of them came up to talk to him, he could just imagine taking them out right there at that moment, and completely ignore whatever they were talking about.

This usually lead to them becoming quite upset and usually stomping away, leaving Roxas quite a bit more content with the situation. Sometimes they got violent, but they never did get very far, not when a teacher was usually right around the corner to stop the potential fight.

No one touched Roxas. The administration made sure of that, they held to much sympathy, Roxas found. He believed they should have just left him alone, that is what he wanted, but they decide to practically stalk him, to make sure the poor boy didn't run into anymore stress.

After all, they wouldn't want to make his mental condition any worse, did they?

But, no, really, the only thing that was giving Roxas any source of stress would be the increasingly large amount of people who felt the need to haunt him and try and get to know him. It was disgusting when the girls would offer to allow him to try and shop with them, or when the guys asked him to get into whatever sport they were attempting to play well. It was just stomach wrenching, though, when Roxas clearly rejected them and they ran off to complain to Sora, who would, obviously, **smile and wave it off.**

He **smiled**, he found it **amusing**, this was, to him, just a giant **game.** The cruelty Arsenic ruled this teaching facility with was jaw-dropping.

After that, they would shrug it off, and try again later. And again. And again. And again.

Just like how Sora would come along and try and talk him into doing something more productive than sleep. They just didn't give up, they had to be inhuman. An entire generation of the world's human species was slowly being transformed into happy, optimistic, narrow-minded, and failingly perfect china-dolls. Yet, this still gave Roxas no motivation to do anything about it.

All this did, in fact, was lead to him skipping more school, hiding in his spot beneath the staircase, the one from that one Friday, and avoiding all human contact twice as much.

It didn't go unnoticed. Axel and Sora were the first to notice, obviously, as Axel and Sora were the only ones who really knew more than just a bit about him and went to the same goddamn school.

This excluded Riku and Kairi, who really he only talked to during lunch anyways. And even then, communication was scarce.

Axel just watched, he knew nothing he could do to affect Roxas in a good way, so he just watched. He watched as Roxas hid in his room when people came to visit, ignore the phone when he got a call, walk right past people who were talking to him, hide under stairs all day until Axel could drive him home.

He could only watch as Sora tried talking to him, failing miserably everytime and leaving it up to Axel, Demyx and Naminé to try to cheer the brunette back up again.

He could only watch.

Then there was the trip to his psychiatrist.

Larxene was with Axel that day, they sat in the waiting room as Roxas sat in the office with the man. Ansem. The blonde man would ask him the usual questions, Roxas would give his dark and morbid outlook on life, society, and the human race as a whole, occasionally only brushing the top of the bomb called his past. Ansem would attempt to prescribe him medication for several things, Roxas would refuse to take anything.

Ansem was the one to change the routine, he gave the prescription to Axel and told him to make sure Roxas took them. He just nodded, Larxene was setting another appointment for next week with the secretary.

Roxas glared at the wall.

On the way to the pharmacy, Larxene drove and chewed her gum loudly, smacking it against her teeth in a rhythm that took more than just half your focus to figure out. Axel read and re-read the paper with the prescription written on it over and over again, like the results would just pop out and smile at him.

Roxas glared at the back of Axel's head.

On the way home, Larxene drove, again, with a different stick of gum and a different complicated rhythm to her snapping of it. Axel stared at the bottles of medication and read and re-read everything on the papers about the side-effects and the safety warnings and everything.

Roxas still glared at the back of Axel's head.

At home, Sora joined them for dinner. It would be, at this time, that we would finally reach the present in this story, of course, because of Sora. Always because of Sora.

"Why are you looking at Axel like that, Roxie?" Roxas didn't answer Sora, just brought his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around them.

They sat at the kitchen table, Demyx sitting next to Roxas, writing song lyrics with a happy smile on his face, Sora on Roxas's other side, staring at him curiously. Larxene stirred the pot, whatever was boiling inside just beginning to make a scent in the air. It smelled like a burnt basketball. Naminé stared out the window, off in her own world. Axel was pulling the bottles of medication from their bags and placing them next to the cutting board.

Sora turned his head to look at them curiously.

"What's that?" He jumped up from the seat and quickly stepped over to the counter to stand next to Axel, "You get those from Ansem today?"

Axel nodded and smirked to the brunette, "He wants Roxas to take them tonight, help me out and make the time table of when he has to take this stuff, make it day-by-day for a week, okay?"

Sora nodded quickly, leaving the room to get paper and something to write with, a task that only he would be able to achieve in this mess of a home, as he had searched it top to bottom not too long ago to find a dictionary that would never be found.

He was back shortly with a pen and paper, making Naminé look up at him in momentary surprise before her interest was lost once more and she looked back out the window.

Roxas finally found his attention caught with the way Demyx's pencil moved across his paper, giving Axel the break from his glare that was actually managing to start and disturb the redhead.

The brunette quickly bounced into the same spot as before, quickly drawing what seemed to resemble a chart of all seven days of the week, labeling them as such. Axel smirked when he noticed it began on a Monday instead of a Sunday. The next couple minutes consisted of Naminé and Larxene making small talk, Demyx biting his lip as he thought about his lyrics, Sora nearly bouncing out of his shoes as he made his little schedule for Roxas, Axel cutting up some pills, and Roxas staring off into space with a blank look on his face. By the time the burnt basketball was finished simmering, Naminé had the table set and ready for her to dish it out.

Roxas noted that it even looked like a burnt basketball.

Axel then placed a couple pills on a napkin next to his plate, Roxas ignored them. The redhead frowned at him and sighed, "Take 'em."

"No."

They were quiet for a second, before Axel closed his eyes (squeezing them shut like he wished so bad he wasn't there), and then looked down at Roxas with a look that could be mistaken for a glare, "Take 'em."

"No."

"Don't make me make you."

"I'm not making you do anything, I'm not taking them." Roxas snapped back at the older teen, glaring down at the table, he didn't want to see the look Axel had. He didn't want to see what emotion Axel dared to try and display on his face.

The redhead scowled angrily, making Sora worry his lip for a moment before stepping between the two, he lightly grabbed Roxas's shoulder, making the blonde glance up, scowl and glare, then return his gaze to the table, "Just take them, okay Roxie? Ansem thinks they'll help."

"I'm not taking them…" Roxas snapped again, glaring at the medication like it was about to burst into flames.

He wasn't so weak in the head to need drugs to keep him an average human being. He knew he wasn't normal, he knew he never would be, but he wasn't losing it. He didn't need the drugs. His mind didn't need extra support, he could handle it one his own. He didn't need them.

Larxene sighed and poked at the food, frowning as she realized what she made was somewhat inedible, then shrugged and began to try and chew it. Naminé was taking a very long and very slow sip of her drink, probably to try and avoid eating whatever it is Larxene had attempted to make. Demyx was looking at Axel, Sora and Roxas despondently, worry-lines seeping onto his forehead as the scene continued.

Sora worried his lip once again as Axel began to quickly tap his finger against the side of his leg, obviously trying to not completely lose his temper at the blonde. The brunette frowned gently, then narrowed his eyes at the blonde, "Take them… Or… I'll stay overnight, in your room… with you."

The silence seemed to ring in their ears, Larxene raised an eyebrow at the teen, a smirk twitching at the corners of her lips, Naminé smiled gently at them before returning to poking her food, Demyx looked like he was about to have a heart attack, Axel just stared. Roxas suddenly shot out of his seat and glared at the brunette, getting right in his face.

"This isn't any of your fucking business, I don't even know why you're here, I'm not taking those damn drugs and I don't want you anywhere near me. So why don't you just fuck off back to your stupid world of mind numbing happiness and over-zealous cheeriness." He spat, turning quickly and stalking out of the room, a couple seconds later came the sound of a door slamming shut, signaling his retreat to his room.

Axel took a deep breath, slowly letting it out as Sora stared at the spot where Roxas had just been, a concerned frown on his face. Demyx sighed in relief, turning to eat but pausing as he saw the "meal."

"What the hell is this?"

Larxene shrugged, "I don't know, it was in a box…"

Naminé suddenly made a gagging motion, then quickly dashed out of the room, her destination not as much of a mystery as everyone wished. Larxene just frowned after her before returning to shoving another spoonful in her mouth and chewing as hard as she could, Demyx blinked and then settled for sipping from his cup of water.

Slowly, Axel sighed again and moved around Sora to pick up the napkin of pills, carefully wrapping it up and placing it on top of the fridge where he could get it again for tomorrow's dinner, "You staying over tonight?"

"Yeah…" Sora nodded slowly, then shrugged and took Roxas's seat, blinking down at the plate, "… Can we order pizza or something?"

Larxene spat the "food" out and wiped her mouth, "You asked, you buy."

* * *

Roxas had been staring at the ceiling for the past two hours, ear plugs having been put to use when the sounds on the first floor began to pick up once again. He didn't want noise, he didn't want thought, he didn't want to exist, he just wanted to stare, to watch, for now, at least. But he couldn't do that, the ear plugs blocked other sounds, but now all he could hear was his own heartbeat.

It was too loud.

He finally screwed his eyes shut, bringing his hands up to press the palms into his eyes, like he was trying to push his eye balls back into his eye sockets. He saw the bright bursts of lights it caused behind his lids, admiring them for a second before his heart ruined the moment.

It picked up speed, his breath began to catch and quicken, he could hear the sounds of metal on metal, the crunching they had made, the shine of the metal before it was coated in red, the high-pitched screech, the lights…

He gasped for air, sitting up immediately as hands grabbed his shoulders. A couple seconds passed, staring up at the intruder, it took a couple seconds for the scene to fade and bleed out into the image of Sora hovering over him. The brunette looked relieved. Roxas blinked, breathing deeply as he simply stared at the teen.

After at least ten minutes, Sora finally nudged him, knowing he would have ear plugs in, and Roxas rolled over onto his stomach to leave the space he was just in for Sora. He didn't particularly care where the brunette slept, as long as he was given a bit longer, to just lay there and… breath.

He momentarily debated whether or not to get up and have a cigarette, but decided against the thought of moving.

Sora wrapped an arm around the blonde's lower back, pulling Roxas against him as he rested his forehead against the teen's shoulder. Roxas didn't bother to move any, still breathing a bit heavy as he let his head rest facedown in the pillow.

* * *

Larxene pulled the skin just beneath her bottom eyelid down a bit, revealing the edge of the bottom lid, she moved the eye liner up to it and began to darken the skin with the pencil before moving on to darken the very corners of her eyes. She ignored Roxas, who had stood in the doorway of the bathroom and watched her carefully, neither of them speaking much at all.

Roxas's writing had disappeared long before then.

She reached into her make up bag again, having becoming accustomed to placing all her make up in it since two months ago, and pulled out her lip gloss, coating her lips in it and holding her breath so as to not inhale too much of the overly strong strawberry sent.

Roxas liked strawberries.

Finally, she picked the blush up last, lightly dusting a bit on her cheekbones before quickly dropping it back into the bag again. She zipped it up and turned to face the blonde boy, raising a well manicured eyebrow at him, "What, you want a make over?"

Roxas bit his lip as he thought for a moment, "Why do you bother?"

She frowned at him, ignoring the chance to turn that statement around and bitch him out for "insulting" her. She sighed and crossed her arms, holding the bag by the loop of string at the end with her finger, "Makes me feel pretty, what about it? You don't like make up now?"

Roxas shook his head slowly, worrying his lip once again, the habit having become stronger recently, it chapped his lips a bit. Naminé had given him some chapstick, but he seemed to have misplaced it somewhere in his room, "It just looks like such a pain in the ass… What if you accidentally stabbed yourself in the eye with that pencil?"

"Eyeliner, and that would be a rare occurrence, I'd assume. Don't think such morbid thoughts, kid, I don't want to know you imagine me getting stabbed in the eye with my own eyeliner." She huffed and walked around him, messing up his hair quickly as she passed by him and down the hallway.

Roxas stared at the mirror in the bathroom for a moment before walking in and looking at himself in it. He looked pale as ever. A sudden memory of what he had looked like with all that eyeliner on flashed in front of him, and he blinked it away. Glancing down, he noticed all that was on the counter was soap. They didn't trust him alone with anything else.

"What are you doing?" He snapped his eyes up to see Demyx at the doorway, his own make up bag in his hand. Roxas bit back the need to scoff at the idea of a man having a make up bag, but Demyx was certainly… different…

All he had in there was eyeliner and eye shadow anyways, maybe a tube of lip gloss or lip stick or whatever the shit was… Maybe he had chapstick…

"Do you have chapstick?"

Demyx raised a less-manicured-than-Larxene's eyebrow at him, giving him a strange look, "Didn't Naminé give you some, like, a week ago?"

Roxas shrugged, thinking back to what he could've done with it, deciding he should probably go to look for it. Then he moved to leave the bathroom, "Good morning, by the way."

Demyx nodded back to him and watched him walk into the living room before darting into the bathroom before anyone else could come and occupy it before him.

In the living room, Axel laid across the couch, flipping through the channels on the small TV quickly, barely registering what he was seeing on what channel. Roxas glanced at the TV and found himself absorbed into watching all the channels fly by so quickly, snippets of conversation blending together into confusing, nonsensical, sentences. He moved to the couch and sat at the edge, leaning back over Axel's leg. The redhead didn't move and just kept flipping.

A knock on the door came, prompting Naminé to glance out of her room, it was the only one connected to the living room. She stared at the two teens on the couch as another knock came, then sighed as Axel and Roxas made no move to go answer the door, "I got it…"

She was leading Sora into the living room with Riku and Kairi trailing along shortly after. Roxas wanted to groan at the happy smile on Sora's face. Axel raised an eyebrow at him, and it was at that moment that he realized that he had groaned involuntarily. He sighed and sat up, gazing at Sora, Riku, Kairi and Demyx talk, it was at that moment that he had remembered he wanted to do something…

He remembered talking to Demyx.

"Dem," Said blonde looked to Roxas, nodding, "What did I talk to you about, a couple minutes ago?"

There was a moment of silence as Demyx thought, "Chapstick?"

Naminé paused in her conversation with Kairi, "I gave you some last week, cherry flavored, remember?"

Roxas nodded slowly, "It's in my room… I think… I'm gonna go look…" He stood and walked to the stairs, making his way up them as Naminé laughed at him.

Naminé had always found his forgetfulness and disorganized manner to be rather endearing, ever since they were little. Naminé said she felt like Roxas was her brother, even though he really was her cousin, Demyx was her brother. But she didn't find as much endearing about Demyx as she found Roxas. Demyx was forgetful at times, but he always seemed to be selectively forgetful, if you know what I mean…

Roxas threw some shirts and a football to the other side of the room, searching the floor for the small tube that his lips called for. A knock at his door prompted a grunt from him, and Sora quickly let himself inside, smiling as he shut the door behind him and began to shift through the piles on Roxas's desk, "I don't think you're gonna find it in here."

"Why?" Roxas muttered quietly, worrying his lip once again, he sighed as he felt the chapped skin on his lips sting a little. He stopped and lifted a hand to his lip, rubbing it softly as his eyebrows knitted together in frustration.

Sora glanced at him and walked over, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small tube of chapstick, watermelon flavored. He uncapped it and reached for the blonde's chin, making Roxas look at him and frown, "You don't have to share… Isn't that like an indirect kiss or something?"

Sora pressed Roxas's cheeks in with his thumb and fingers, making the teen pucker his lips involuntarily, he gently began to apply the chapstick to the blonde's lips, "We've kissed before, besides, it hurts, right?"

Roxas shrugged, he wasn't about to deny the truth, no use to it.

Sora's hand dropped, leaving Roxas to rub his lips together for a moment, feeling them smooth over slowly. Sora sighed and stuffed the tube back into his pocket, watching the blonde stare at the floor and rub his lips together.

Really, Sora had no idea why he found the blonde so attractive, but he just did. Something about "slow and a complete mess" just really turned him on, or something…

That… wasn't suppose to be taken in a sexual way or anything. Sora isn't thinking of Roxas in a sexual way… Not at all…

Roxas's eyes snapped up and met with Sora's for a moment, making Sora's breath literally stop as he gazed at him. Roxas stopped rubbing his lips together, blinking at Sora as their eyes seemed to refuse to look away from each other. He felt the urge quite suddenly, and then he was kissing him before he even realized he had moved forward. It had been quick to Roxas.

To Sora, it had been incredibly slow, torturously so. He had seen Roxas lean forward, he had sucked in his breath and also leaned forward, but while he had hesitated, eyes locked onto Roxas's expression, Roxas hadn't even flinched. Their lips were locked, Roxas's hand having come up to hold the back of Sora's head and press their lips together harder.

Sora moved forward on his knees, wrapping his arms around Roxas's waist and pulling the blonde closer once again, just as Roxas's tongue dashed out to lick against Sora's. The brunette quickly let him in, letting his tongue race through his mouth, he could vaguely taste tooth paste and the blonde's last cigarette as he shoved his tongue into the other's mouth.

A shiver ran down his spine as Roxas moaned lightly, obviously, the blonde wasn't thinking at all, or else his pride would have never allowed him to make such a noise. At the moment, neither seemed to care very much, though.

Roxas pushed Sora down onto the floor, taking a deep, shuttering, breath as Sora quickly kissed down his jaw to his throat, grazing his teeth along the blonde's jugular. Roxas moved on top of him, straddling Sora's waist and letting his hands drift down to the brunette's shirt hem. Roxas let out another soft moan as Sora idly nipped at the spot where his jaw and neck connected, waiting for the blonde to move his hands.

Slowly, Roxas slid his hands under the shirt, pulling it up Sora's body as his fingers just grazed his skin, causing the just barely defined muscles of his stomach to shutter. Sora attacked the blonde's neck with more heat, quickly moving to the blonde's collarbone and slowly kissed and nipped his way along until he reached the dip between the bone and neck.

Roxas gasped as Sora lightly bit the skin, causing a slightly louder moan to come from the teen, the brunette licking the wound immediately afterwards causing the blonde to suddenly rock his hips forwards. Both teens made soft groans at that, and Sora found himself quickly pushed against the floor again, having not even realized he had risen. Roxas's hands brushed down both of his sides, causing Sora to suck in his breath and grab the blonde's head, forcing him down into another kiss. He was about to ask for entrance when…

There was a knock on the door.

Roxas jumped off Sora fast. He was across the room and on his bed by the time Sora had managed to just pull his shirt down, and then the door was opened to reveal Riku. The silver haired teen looked between the two, from Roxas's spot, in the corner of his bed with his face buried in a magazine, to Sora's spot on the floor with a light blush on his face.

And he decided not to ask.

"Larxene's making me order pizza, what kind do you want?"

Sora huffed out a giant breath, just managing to not glare at his best friend for ruining that moment between him and Roxas, then just sighed and told him anything was fine. Roxas grunted, leaving Riku to translate that as, "I'm emo and don't care about anything at all."

Then the silver haired teen left the two to the awkward silence that followed.


	3. And: Other Meaningless Truths

_**Gotta get this out now, I personally have nothing against make-up or McDonald's. But I felt like these characters would. Oh, and I don't actually dislike Kairi. For the sake of this story, though, I had to make Roxas dislike her for some reason. So I decided to make him think she was a whore. Oh, and I hope it all makes more sense after this, because now you know what happened to Roxas and all. When I was writing this, I was trying to make Roxas have ADD, PTSD, and slight depression. I forget the term for only slight, it escapes me, at the moment, sorry, but you catch my drift, right?**_

**_Again, again, hope you like it. Spot mistakes, let me know. Don't like yaoi, get a friend. Hungry, get something to eat... That's what I'm gonna do, and then I'm gonna write the last chapter... hopefully._**

* * *

_**And: Other Meaningless Truths**_

He glared at the pills in front of him. They just sat there, taunting him with their stupid side effects and addictions. So what if Roxas was being smart and staying away from _drugs?_ It didn't seem like anyone was happy with him.

He took another drag from his cigarette and glanced up at Axel before blowing it out, "No." Axel didn't move, the pills didn't move, hell, the world stopped turning for that one fucking second.

Then everything went back into high gear again.

"Take 'em, before I make you." Roxas knew Axel would follow through with this threat, he had last time, and out on their front porch, Roxas really didn't feel like getting medication shoved down his throat.

But he wasn't going to take it, "Fuck off." He exhaled some smoke in the redhead's face, and that was probably about where Axel could officially say he lost control.

Anger management issues, what can you do?

Roxas was shoved to the wooden porch, his head roughly hitting the railing and making his sight go black and fuzzy around the edges, then he found the pills being, once again, shoved down his throat. He tried to spit them out, put Axel's hand was over his mouth and keeping his jaw firmly shut.

A kick met air, then Axel's fist found Roxas's abdomen, and the blonde nearly screamed in pain, his throat suddenly opening as he tried to gasp for air, and allowing the pills to slip down his throat for him to choke on.

Coughing, Axel let him go, Roxas nearly kicked him again, but he was more focused on getting oxygen to his brain and not passing out. That was always a good plan. Then he could kill Axel. By the time his breath was caught, however, and he looked around, all that was left was his cigarette butt giving a steady stream of smoke into the air as it burned out.

* * *

A flash of himself with the eyeliner was reflected back to him in the mirror, he looked _dead_. Like he didn't belong in this world anymore.

"Roxas?" His head snapped to the side, taking in the sight of Sora in the doorway to the bathroom, confused frown on his face, "What are you doing?" A smirk jumped onto his lips playfully, and he narrowed his eyes at the blonde, "You were checking yourself out, weren't you?"

Roxas frowned, "You don't know what you're talking about, shut up, damn Arsenic."

He laughed, strolling into the bathroom and behind Roxas, he wrapped his arms around the blonde's stomach pulled the body against him, letting Roxas feel the warmth of an actual hug. The brunette figured the blonde would want one, he almost never got them, mostly because… Well, who would have the balls and the care to try and give him one?

Certainly not Demyx or Larxene. Axel just wasn't the hugging type, while he did care about Roxas. And Naminé preferred no physical contact, she didn't like the idea of pressing her body against people randomly.

… It only sounded wrong when she said it like that…

Roxas blinked, gulping as Sora's chin rested on his shoulder, _so_ close to his face. Then he turned away, and found himself nearly blush as he saw Sora smiling at him in the mirror, the brunette laughed at him again, "You chose a bad place to get embarrassed, you can't hide!"

The blonde pouted, though he wouldn't admit it, "Shut up…"

A light squeeze around his stomach made him look up in the mirror again, to catch the sight of Sora kissing him on the cheek, lightly. He blushed that time, but it was light, it was mostly because he saw it in the mirror. He turned his head to look at the real Sora, who smiled brightly at him, "You don't need to ask or anything, just go get one if you want it."

The blonde just blinked at him, then turned away again, staring at the wall behind them in the mirror, "… Are you going home tonight?"

"Hm…" Sora paused, gauging the blonde's expression, he was just staring at that wall blankly, "I'll stay with you."

He nodded slowly, then blinked and frowned at the brunette, "Don't take all the covers again, it gets cold."

Sora smiled at him again, being chalk full of them like usual, where did he pull them from, and the worst part about them would have to be that they're not even fake. How can anyone smile so much? It's practically inhuman, it's the exact opposite of Roxas, who pretty much never smiles.

"Don't worry, Roxie, I'll keep you warm."

* * *

Lunch was, as usual, loud, obnoxious, annoying, and an overall waste of Roxas's time. He didn't even eat school food.

Riku sat across from him, shoving a hamburger down his throat like his life depended on it, and Roxas decided the guy must either be starving himself or have an extremely high metabolism, because he ate that way practically everyday. What was the need to make such a pig out of yourself in such a way, was he not aware of how disgusting it was to see someone cram food into themselves so fast?

Either way, Riku probably didn't care, he probably didn't have enough brain cells to do such a thing, after all, the way he eats must not let him breath enough, and so kills those precious brain cells of his slowly.

Kairi was going on and on about some Selphie girl, about how she was wearing much too much make up recently and how she worried people would start to mistake her for a slut or something because of that. Roxas thought that entire thing was stupid. He had recently decided make up in general was a waste of time, you just had to take it off eventually, and what did it matter if you couldn't even show people your real face?

That being said, note that Kairi wears enough make up to look like a whore, but then again, she's probably just dressing her part.

Sora was just calmly taking bites of his sandwich, tuna, Roxas thinks, and nodding every minute or so to give Kairi the illusion he was listening to her. The brunette found Roxas's shoulder to be rather comfortable as of late, and would take it upon himself to lean and rest his head on the blonde whenever he could. Roxas didn't care enough to tell him to get off, the brunette wasn't all that heavy anyways.

He would this time, though, as he spotted the small group of students walking towards their table, gazes fixated on Sora and Roxas. The blonde really didn't feel like even ignoring people, to tell the truth, so he nudged Sora off him and just left the table, walking away as quickly as possible to escape the booming noise of the lunchroom.

This half-walk, half-jog, would eventually bring him to his usual spot, underneath the staircase by the backdoor where, just outside, janitors dumped the trash and students dumped the recycling.

He merely curled up, bringing his knees to his chin, and wrapped his arms around his legs. Roxas deemed that he had reached his social limit of the day and would need to be taken home as soon as possible. Axel would have his last class end in about an hour, he could meet the redhead at his car and go home.

Roxas found his train of thought cut-off at the sound of shoes on, cheap and tacky, linoleum coming to a halt right in front of him. Glancing up, hesitantly, he found the sight of Sora crouching in front of him, a relaxed smile on his face, making Roxas just return his face to the comfort of being blocked from the world by his knees and arms.

He didn't glance up again at the sound of a couple thumps and cloth shifting, he didn't move again until he felt a warmth suddenly move up next to him. Quickly turning his head to see the warmth, he found Sora leaning against him again, knees drawn up to his chest, head rested against the blonde's shoulder, one arm wrapped around Roxas while the other rested against their bags. Slowly, carefully, Roxas moved his head back into it's original position.

They were silent for another hour, until Roxas got up and lead Sora to Axel's car, the redhead would drive both of them home.

* * *

Larxene stared from around the corner, on the staircase, at the two teens, the brunette cuddled against the blonde who was basically being eaten by the corner of the couch that was unsupported on the bottom. That corner was all cushion, and by the way Roxas was sitting, his ass had been swallowed whole. And by the way Sora was laying on him, he wasn't going to recover that ass anytime soon.

The TV flashed light across the pitch black room, bathing the two figures in dim lighting, just enough to see them but not enough to hold eye contact or anything. Not that they were planning to, it looks like, they were just sitting there. Quiet, completely still, peaceful.

Later, Larxene would think she was crazy for thinking it, as it seemed to be something close to impossible. But this was, for the first time since they moved here eight months ago, that Roxas seemed, maybe not happy but, content.

And that was a huge step from the nut case he had been when they first got here.

* * *

Shoving more boxes to the side, he searched the floor for the specific sweatshirt he wanted, as it was starting to get really cold, and he wanted to be warm outside with Sora and Naminé. The two were waiting downstairs for him to find his sweatshirt.

Another shove and he spotted the article of clothing hanging on the doorknob to his closet, hidden behind the boxes he had used to move his stuff there but was too lazy to dispose of. He pulled it off the doorknob and ignored the small clattering sound as something hit the floor. He would find out what it was later, if he remembered it at all.

* * *

Sora laughed as Naminé quickly stalked over to the McDonald's, angry that they not only had to eat at such a disgusting place (in her opinion) but that she had to be the one who actually stepped foot in the fluorescent shrine to grease and heart-attacks.

The brunette's smile never dropped from his face, even as she disappeared inside, instead turning his attention down to the other blonde next to him, leaning his entire body against him. Roxas had fallen asleep as they had been sitting still in the same position as Naminé sketched them earlier. Something she would add more detail and color to later, then pass in for a grade in one of her classes.

At first, Sora had thought it would just be him leaning against Roxas, and the blonde just sitting there and glaring at some poor random object as usual. But he hadn't realized Naminé's real intentions, he had been surprised when she had insisted Roxas lean against Sora, instead.

He'd been more surprised when Roxas just shrugged and agreed with it.

Honestly, attempting a relationship with the blonde was no easy task. That was probably obvious, though. Sora, most of the time, just had to continue to remind himself that Roxas did care for him, he just couldn't express it, couldn't understand it for himself.

Other people's critics hadn't been of much help, either. All those people who looked doubtfully when he said they were in a relationship, all those people who constantly asked question about Roxas, ones he couldn't answer because he didn't know enough about him, all those people who would look at him pityingly after Roxas would brush off Sora so seemingly easily.

He knew Roxas cared for him, at the very least. He knew he could even make the blonde love him, with time. But he never knew how hard it would be to stay by his side and not be able to be shown any affection from the other.

Naminé was an angel, Sora would swear it. She watched them silently, almost like she wasn't there at all. And then, when you would least expect it, she would do something that would make everything better. So she had to be an angel.

An angel who was extremely pissed off as she walked away from McDonald's with a bag of greasy, artery-clogging, death causing, "food."

* * *

Axel sank pathetically back into the couch, staring at the TV with a glazed look in his eyes. Roxas stared at him for another moment, taking in the sight of his best-friend turned torturer for the past couple weeks, smirked, and then held out the cough medicine, dangling it in front of the redhead's face.

He groaned, a couple weak coughs forcing their way from his throat, then reached up to take it, just for Roxas to quickly pull it away. He glared at the blonde, "Oh god, Rocks, don't tell me you're actually gonna do this…"

Roxas smirked and started to hand the bottle over, Axel went to snatch it, movements slowed down by illness though kept Roxas able to pull it away from him at the last second, once again. Roxas bit his lip to keep himself from laughing at the poor guy, "Oh, yeah, I'm gonna do this…"

They glared at each other until Demyx walked in, pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, then snatched the bottle from Roxas and gave it to Axel, "Can you two not torture each other for just one day? Is it really that hard?"

"Yes." He blinked as Roxas and Axel just stared at him, serious, or at least pretending very well to be.

* * *

Sora pouted, sitting in front of him with the medicine in his hands, "Axel's sick, I have to do it… Please don't make me force you, Roxie!"

Roxas ignored his whining and sat in the corner of the bed, he wasn't going to take those things willingly, ever, "The world is too drugged up, excuse me for not wanting to be one of the brainwashed masses."

Sora rolled his eyes, "Do you really think you'll become one of the 'brainwashed masses' if you take a couple pills?"

"Yes." No hesitation, Roxas just stared at him with a completely serious face.

Sora frowned at him, "Stop being difficult."

"Stop being so social."

Sora rolled his eyes at that one, "That's like asking me to rip all my hair out, strand by strand, not happening in this lifetime, Roxie."

"Well," Roxas retorted, scooting farther into the corner of his bed as Sora crawled closer, "Asking me to not be difficult is like asking me to drown myself in the toilet. Not happening."

Sora frowned, Roxas just frowned back, and then Sora sighed and shoved the medication in his mouth. Roxas's jaw dropped, jumping forward, "What are you doing? You can't take that! It'll-"

Roxas gasped as Sora's mouth latched onto his, throwing his body against his bed, the brunette had found his way to straddling him in seconds before he pushed Roxas's arms flat against the bed. The blonde bucked as he felt Sora's tongue begin to push pills into his mouth, but Sora stayed where he was, stubbornly.

And that's how they stayed, Roxas bucking and trying to force his arms out of Sora's grip, and Sora not moving an inch until Roxas swallowed the pills. It felt like forever, the medication began to dissolve in his mouth, making Roxas gag a bit a couple times. He fought the urge to whine at his position, not giving into Sora's will at all, until one pill shifted and fell to the back of his throat, causing the blonde to gag again.

Then he decided, his time and energy could be spent on much better things involving much better situations.

He swallowed.

The first thing Sora did was detach his lips from Roxas's and gulp down a couple breaths, smiling cheerily as Roxas did the same, glaring up at the brunette. Sora just stuck his tongue out, then jumped off the blonde, sitting back towards the end of the bed. Roxas sat up in the corner and frowned (pouted) at him, "I hate you."

"No you don't."

Roxas scowled, glare intensifying, "Shut up, what do you know?"

Sora frowned gently, "Well, I don't know nothing. I know enough about you, Roxas, to know you don't _hate_ me."

Roxas hated how he over-exaggerated the word "hate," like he was mocking him. He snapped at him, "Obviously you don't know anything or else you wouldn't be shoving fucking pills down my throat with you tongue!"

Sora just frowned, then jumped off the bed, "You know what, no! I **don't** know anything! How can I when you don't talk about anything at all?!"

Roxas's eyes widened, unused to Sora actually yelling back at him, but he snapped back just as quickly, "What made you think I would tell you anything anyways?! You just shoved yourself into my life, I didn't even like you, I hate you!"

"Fine, then I'll stop inserting myself in your life if that's how you really want it! I'm gone!" Sora slammed the door shut, leaving Roxas to his corner of the bed. He glared at the room around him, wrinkling his nose at it all before his eyes settled on something on the floor.

Slowly moving off the bed, practically crawling, he stood and moved to pick it up. Rolling it in his hands, he saw it was a small tube of cherry chapstick. He scoffed, glaring at it like it was the source of all his problems, hand shaking slightly, he threw it at the door. Dissatisfied with the pathetic "thunk" it made against the wood.

He huffed again, throwing himself back on his bed. He shoved his face in the pillow and rolled the sheets up around him, knowing he wouldn't have to move to let anyone in that night. He felt the anger slowly dissipate into something else. It hurt.

Making a small groaning sound, he shoved his face lower into the pillow. Begging for sleep to just come and take him quickly.

Karma was being a bitch again though. She made his eyes burn, his throat watery, he could feel the water stream down his cheeks like lava, burning their paths onto his skin. Setting the memories, if not into his mind already, into this body.

Scarring him forever.

* * *

Roxas groaned from where he stood, watching helplessly as the scene replayed before his eyes once again. The car just came out of no where, the lights flashed, two bright spots glaring down at him, coming at him way too fast. Then there was the screech, and it was so dark, he still couldn't tell if it had been the tires or her voice. It happened so fast, but so slow. It was like the car was in front of him one moment, the lights, the screeching, the sound of the metal grinding against the guardrail.

Then, the next moment, he was on the ground, and it was so cold, he cut his arm open on the ice or pavement, he didn't know, he didn't care. He spun around.

He didn't want to see it, he didn't want to see it, he wanted to wake up, make it go away, just wake up.

It wasn't going to let him, it never did.

They were… mashed against the brick. The guardrail was _inside_ their stomachs… The _blood_ was all over them. The headlights were still on, everything was lit perfectly, the shine of the blood dripping to the ice and snow below their feet. Their faces shadowed as they lay limply against the guardrail and car.

All he could hear was his heart, it was beating so fast in his ears, he couldn't hear the people screaming, he couldn't see the man jump out of his car and start calling an ambulance, crying as he began to realize what he had done, he couldn't feel the snowflakes falling on him, he couldn't see anything except them, couldn't feel anything except the surreal "that didn't just happen" panic grip his heart, couldn't hear anything except his heart drumming against his ears.

Those were his parents, they were suppose to be his parents, they looked nothing like them. A couple seconds ago they had just been walking, what happened, why was this happening? There was so much _blood…_

* * *

He gasped for breath, sucking it in his lungs like a drink, his eyes snapped around and blinked wildly, slowly absorbing the sight of Sora next to him, Axel at the end of the bed, Larxene next to him, Naminé in the doorway looking like she just got there, and Demyx in the middle of the room and panting like he just ran a mile…

Roxas lay on the bed, breathing rough, eyes darting around to all the faces over and over again, then settled on the Sora's face. The brunette was just staring at him. There was no expression on his face, he was just… waiting… For _what?_ Was Roxas some kind of fucking show? What was he _waiting _for?

The blonde gritted his teeth, glaring at the brunette, he felt his shuttering breaths forcing their way through his mouth, making his throat feel raw. He hated Sora, he despised him, wished he was gone.

A small cry ripped from his throat, coming out strangled and watery, and he couldn't stop himself before he threw himself at the brunette, throwing his arms around his waist and burying his face in his chest.

He hated himself more in the end, because Sora was waiting for Roxas to let him in, and Roxas couldn't stop himself before he did.


	4. Plus: A Lie

**_Sorry this one is so short, but I could, honestly, not think of anything else to say. Maybe, later, I'll come back when I have thought of something. But, for now, I feel like everything that has needed to be said, has been said. I considered trying to make a lemon in this chapter, then thought it just wouldn't fit with the story, over-all, and changed my mind half way through the lemon. I decided to make Roxas as fluffy as I could. Which was difficult, trust me._**

**_So, I want to personally thank "Lollipops and Roxas OH MY" for reading and reviewing the story while I was finishing it. I just thought it humorous in a weird way. So, anyways, I hope everyone is not dissappointed, and if you are... I'm sorry? Either way, thanks for reading it anyways, I put a couple months of research, effort and heart into this. And now I'm weirdly attached to Roxas... which I suppose isn't all bad..._**

**_Love you guys!_**

* * *

_**Plus: A Lie**_

Happy endings don't exist. Simple as that. And Roxas knew this, Axel knew this, Larxene expected this, Naminé understood this, Kairi ignored this, Riku faced this, hell, even Demyx and Sora knew that there was no such thing as a happy ending.

In the end, all you can hope to achieve is being content.

Content with your home, car, job, spouse, life. That's all you could ever hope for. It's not like a fairy-tale ending will start to spout it's nonsense into your face the moment you're born. Shit happens. Lives end. Lives begin. Lives live.

That's all there is to it. Just to live.

It's ironic, in a way, then, that the entire human race spends their entire existence constantly in pursuit of happiness, of the happy ending they are taught they will always deserve and will always get from fairy-tales.

Roxas felt that, for these misleading lies, Cinderella's story should be extended to the point where her and her prince have been married for 60 years, and then see how well they get along. Aladdin and Jasmine should live as street rats because of Aladdin, and then see if Jasmine still loves him. Ariel and What's-His-Face should have a long-distance relationship, one where Ariel is a mermaid in the fucking ocean again, and then we'll see how long they last, until one of them cheats.

Then again, Roxas could just be thinking this because he's been forced to watch Disney movies all day with Sora, Axel, Naminé, Demyx, Larxene, Riku and Kairi. Oh, and Zexion, Demyx's new boyfriend, the one that got him laid for the third time in his life, but he's so quiet that you usually forget he's there.

So you can understand if he's just a bit annoyed at the moment.

Sora tugged the hem of his shirt lightly, something that, over the year of them being together, Roxas had familiarized with Sora wanting to go to bed. He sighed and stood, dragging the other teen up with him, making the others in the room turn to stare at them. A moment of silence passed as Roxas stood for a second, all eyes on him, daring him to break the Disney marathon they all were having no joy in participating together with each other.

Then he cleared his throat, "Night."

Mumbled replies followed after them as Roxas lead the brunette from the room, up two flights of stairs, and to the blonde's room. Door shut behind them, the brunette crawled into the comfortable bed, curling up as Roxas yawned and blinked around the room. A vague thought told him he should really brush his teeth and put some chapstick on before going to bed, but…

He crawled in next to the other teen, wrapping his arms around the other boy and dragging him to his chest. Sora had become something like a safety blanket to Roxas. He was there almost every night, and on the nights Sora's parents couldn't be convinced to let him sleep over his boyfriend's house, Roxas slept over his house in Sora's bed instead.

Sora was like the stuffed chocobo he carried around everywhere with him when he was a child… That chocobo was in a box at the old house he used to live in with his parents, most likely in the back of the closet of a bedroom that he used to consider his. He couldn't bare to look at that stuff, the meaningful things from his past, all it would do was bring back memories.

So he instead covered them with Sora. Sora was the safety blanket, the one he used to drape over everything in his past, to hide away everything that brought him pain. And he didn't know if that was healthy, and he didn't particularly care, because what he did know was that Sora covered up the pain, for now, at least, he wouldn't suffer from it.

The brunette's arms lazily wrapped around his chest, burying his face into the blonde's collarbone, sleep obviously taking him over quickly. Leaving the blonde to stare at the still destroyed wall across from him, the plaster having been cleaned up long ago but the hole still gaping wide.

He let the memories rush over him. Memories of an entire year to get to this point, and over a year since his world had shattered. It was that short amount of time, or maybe that long amount, it took for Sora to come into his life and begin to glue him back together.

Roxas wasn't sure how to feel about that. At that time, he had wanted nothing more than to disappear, really, he hadn't wanted someone there to fix him. But Sora had been there anyways, Sora had pulled him out of whatever kind of dark dimension the blonde had fallen into, even though Roxas had struggled against him the entire way. And even if he wasn't completely out of there yet, even if it was just the damn drugs Axel was shoving down his throat at the times Sora's time table dictated…

Roxas could only have Sora to thank, to blame. And he wasn't sure anymore, if he really despised the brunette, or if he actually…

Could he even think of that? Could he really think himself capable of actually having those feelings?

"Roxie," The blonde flinched at the muttering, quickly looking down into much deeper blue eyes, ones shining with concern and fighting the exhaustion of the day, "Are you okay, you're breathing fast."

"I-I, uh… Yeah. Fine." The blonde cleared his throat as the other teen just stared at him a bit, then leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss against the blonde's lips.

Sora rubbed small circles softly into his back with one of his hands, burying his face into the blonde's neck, "It's fine."

Tomorrow morning, when Sora woke up, Roxas wouldn't pretend to sleep, he wouldn't hide that he had been staring at the wall he destroyed a year ago, with a chair that had been taken away from him, waiting for Sora to wake up. And he would try and tell him the truth…

He wouldn't lie to Sora anymore, he wouldn't pretend he was fine anymore, he had no need to pretend and lie. He wasn't fine, he wasn't happy, he probably wasn't very sane either.

He was scared, he was just barely content with his life, and it was a damn good thing Axel was making him take those pills. But the thing about Sora, the thing about the person he would still compare to Arsenic, was that Sora would fix that.

Sora had slowly poisoned the old him, slowly killed Roxas. The Roxas that was lying next to the brunette in his bed, holding the sleeping teen with so much comfort, was not the same one from a year ago. They were so different. He was dead, in mind and soul.

It was only a shell walking around, now, only a person Sora had built, Sora had built him, built the new Roxas to match what he wanted. And why Sora had decided to do this to him, Roxas wouldn't understand. Was there something about insane, dangerous, angry and slightly bipolar that turned Sora on or something?

Either way. This Roxas wasn't the Roxas from a year ago. This Roxas could sit through an entire day of school. This Roxas didn't glue his shoes to the floor. This Roxas loved Sora back.

And that was all there was to it.

Tomorrow morning, when Sora woke up, Roxas wouldn't pretend to sleep, he wouldn't hide that he had been staring at the wall he destroyed a year ago, with a chair that had been taken away from him, waiting for Sora to wake up. And he would tell him, definitely, the moment that he wakes up, the truth.

Roxas loved Sora.


End file.
